im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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