I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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