Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
