sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
