Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
