forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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