Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
