we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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