i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
