I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
