hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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