Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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