sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize