You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
