Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
