I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
