my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well you can't waste a boner
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
