you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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