Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
