I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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