Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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