did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
