she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
