your thong is hanging out like whoa
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
