There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
