it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
