Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do vagina's smell?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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