Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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