how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
