WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
