one two three fourrrrnication!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
