True but thats because hes a fetus.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
