I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
