We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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