So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
