there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
