Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
