So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize