I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
