I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I will be naked everywhere
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
