Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
