Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
this just has baby written all over it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
