so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
