No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
