hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
