My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
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He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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