so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
