Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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