he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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