Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
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I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
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I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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