the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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