Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
