What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize