If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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