Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize