Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
