Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
