I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
As shirtless as possible
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
