Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
