what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
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Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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