I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
