How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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