don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
