feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
